Can We Forgive And forget?
At one point or another in life you may have gone through a situation, and each time you visit that same environment, memories flood back. It could be pain, loss, anguish, or even nostalgia – it doesn’t matter.
Or you have been hurt by someone, and every desire in you is to forgive and move on with life, but whenever you set your eyes on your offender, you have flash backs, however momentary.
At some other times you have convinced yourself, with good reasons, that your decision was right, and believe you have overcome your bad feelings. However, the person does something similar to that which you are supposed to have dealt with and suddenly the new action becomes a reminder of the past offence.
This is because remembering depends on association of ideas, and action requires environment. Imagine a walking on muddy plain, note that each footstep leaves an imprint, and whether one impression is made on another, it doesn’t erase the fact that there was one before. The mind is like that.
Each experience leaves an indelible mark on the mind, making it both unforgiving and unforgetful. Except the mind is erased completely, we remain what our mind is. And each imprint, ideas or experiences are like items on a shaky shelve, you either reach for any or they fall out at random.
Can we forgive and forget?
We may go about this either of these ways: we forgive to forget, or try to forget to forgive.
But whatever our emotional and religious indulgences are, we can only empathize, sympathize, or condone in the face of love.
We may forgive and pretend to forget, but the mind doesn’t take to such indulgence because it remains what it is.
2009©J.Ifeme
Or you have been hurt by someone, and every desire in you is to forgive and move on with life, but whenever you set your eyes on your offender, you have flash backs, however momentary.
At some other times you have convinced yourself, with good reasons, that your decision was right, and believe you have overcome your bad feelings. However, the person does something similar to that which you are supposed to have dealt with and suddenly the new action becomes a reminder of the past offence.
This is because remembering depends on association of ideas, and action requires environment. Imagine a walking on muddy plain, note that each footstep leaves an imprint, and whether one impression is made on another, it doesn’t erase the fact that there was one before. The mind is like that.
Each experience leaves an indelible mark on the mind, making it both unforgiving and unforgetful. Except the mind is erased completely, we remain what our mind is. And each imprint, ideas or experiences are like items on a shaky shelve, you either reach for any or they fall out at random.
Can we forgive and forget?
We may go about this either of these ways: we forgive to forget, or try to forget to forgive.
But whatever our emotional and religious indulgences are, we can only empathize, sympathize, or condone in the face of love.
We may forgive and pretend to forget, but the mind doesn’t take to such indulgence because it remains what it is.
2009©J.Ifeme
We forgive but never truly forget.
ReplyDeleteWhy should we anyways?
I know. We owe it to ourselves to forgive but forget? Nah!
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautifully expressed for people like myself who are unable to express their feelings as you do.Some time it's easier to forgive, but to forget, well i think it can take up to a lifetime.
ReplyDeletewow, loved the way you put it down. The mind never forgets but it is possble to put some memories in storage at the back shelf where u cant reach. Reasons fo this is so that the mind can powerfully work to achieve what it is set to achieve. Sometimes that means forgiving to forget e.g; (beneficial so u can be a better you)! and also forgetting to forgive in order to e.g; maintain a good relationship for example.
ReplyDeletei can forget and forgive but i'm not able to believe
ReplyDelete