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The success of every marriage is determined by the resolve of the individuals involved, what they know, and their willingness to implement. For the young man who intends to walk that path sooner or later, here are five proven ways not to attempt marriage. Make unrealistic impression: It is natural for a young man to want to impress his lady. You want to let her see how refined you are; give her some nice treat so she can see how ‘right’ you are for her. It has something to do with the ego – yes, we all have some. Beyond that, a good impression helps to plane the path to a woman’s heart. But remember , when you make an impression you must have to live up to it. Never exude what you are not made of. A lady will only come to resent you the moment they get to realize you’re a fraud. Yes – even after she’s become your wife! Go on a spending spree: Some men just cannot resist the urge to spend their way into a woman’s heart. Perhaps you think you are just not spending enoug...

One night seven years ago, I was filled with certain fatherly thoughts. I have always wanted to have a daughter but being single and still searching I decided to pen a letter to my unborn daughter - I mean -  that was the closest I could get to being a father. Six years on, after two wonderful boys, I got meet my cute little girl. And as she turns one, I remembered this post buried somewhere in my blog. She's such a blessing! Dear daughter,   As I look down on this blank, unlined paper waiting to get inscribed with ink, I could imagine an angelic face on the brink of making a transition into a world of many wonders. I want you to know that you have been loved already. I could only imagine what it’s like over there on the other side, so I think you should consider it a fatherly advice and hold on to as much memory as you could while crossing over to this journey full of treachery and pain, hopelessness, and yet permeated with a lot of joy, and I hope you will c...

Fake names, fake hair, Fake lashes and fake air; Fake nails – skin dubiously light, Fake tits and fake height:                     A fair hunk, a feigned smile; A lust tango – such mutual wile.         Love frowns, walks on by, Cupid waves a bye-bye ©Jude Ifeme The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Subscribe to POETIC IDEAS Follow @mcjudeci

Except you have a standing death wish you should not expect a thing from anyone you have helped. And yes, the universe gives back whatever you have given in equals and triples and infinities but we must learn to give rightly. Once I came across a saying that, ‘if you did a good turn and you were repaid with evil then there’s a bid of wickedness attached to your good.’ That may not be as ominous as it depicts. My take on the saying is that you must leave your ego out of your giving. Your left hand should not see what the right is doing when giving. When one gives in expectation of returns then one might as well have bought some stocks because that would no longer be charity. Many of us deem it most charitable to give to the most prospective and the upcoming, or to those whose future we can already foretell, so that when they get to their paradise we will be remembered (talk about the bid of wickedness, perhaps). But more often than not many have been failed by this sche...

Oh sweet Erika You wanted a place in his heart And got a spot in his car Another shade to his art The sacks below your eyes The ashes of withered passion A still star in moving skies Lays no claim to their motion Oh dear Erika Can't count your loses on ten fingers Matters of the heart are what they are But you got to leave this to the head © Jude Ifeme

There's divinity in most things we do - that power beyond us setting the posts and shapening the fields - which only leaves us to marvel or grapple. But the success of anything we do will largely, or always, depend on the amount of dedication we put in, and marriage is not an exception. The success of every marital union will depend on the level of mutual acceptance shared by the couple involved, the time invested, the love and sacrifice both individuals may be willing to give.  Marriage is not a place where you come to meet prepared solutions, or hope to automatically have your life  transformed by its shere pronouncements, or even get instant  rehabilitation from the emotional or lustful wretched you were just yesterday. Much as marriage can help in your general psychological appreciation, one must have had a previous determination to change, or must have started a workout on their character to enjoy meaningful transformation.  There is no marriage made in heav...

Two young lovebirds stagger in; the girl's head resting on the guy's broad left shoulder, while his hand securely winds around her narrow waist. He gulps quietly. He'd imagined tonight with Josephine like that. No, he`d imagined her walk in, then he would reach out to her across the restaurant - Kiss her gently on the forehead, hold her head so close to his heart she would hear its quick strokes, then he would whisper those words... He has had them rehearsed and memorised. He believes she would not resist. The lovebirds are settled into a cosy seat in a semi dark corner at the left. It is hard to make out their faces but he could hear the girl's muffled giggle. She laughs just like Josephine. The guy swells on a thick baritone he's almost certain is faked. He tries to look away but couldn't, until fears they'd noticed him. *phone rings* Josephine. He frantically reach for his breast pocket. It's his mum calling. His heart deflates. "Hello mum...

Faithfulness in a relationship is not about your faith or religion, but a personal resolve to stay true to a partner in spite of other distractions. It is about the will of an individual; unwavering and undivided. I emphasize on the will or mind because some of the greatest battles of man are fought in the mind, once the mind is defeated; the physical fight becomes a mere exercise of muscles. The habit of staying faithful to a single partner though can start at anytime but is best started before one is committed for the long run. One must learn to content one’s desires with a single partner. People who double date for fun, or care less about commitment in their youth may find it difficult to stay with any single partner at any given time, those who indulge in lustful and carefree philosophies would have developed a mindset that does not permit commitment. It has been suggested in some quarters that people should love themselves or they’d never be able to truly ...

We start the journey of love, craving for perfect things; the hugs, the kisses, the touch – pray cupid for a perfect shot; the one with the fairest face, that one with the brightest smile, so our dream will come alive. But life has something to say, though you find that angel someday – angels, they don’t stay. We hold our dreams to heart, if we only will find that one, then life would be complete. But if you do not find a flaw, perhaps you should search again, for angels don’t stay, and no one plays the angel for long. The road to perfection is made of imperfections. You must open your eyes to the flaws, you must touch the flaws, you must know the flaws, and then you will know the MAN. For the only angels we can be, are ones with failings and flaws. We start the walk of love, with all the wrongs in place; we fail to know that loving starts with you giving. Subscribe to POETICALLY SPOKEN by Email