Have You Ever?

Have you ever come to that point where all you could hope for was the end, only for a new road to unfold and your journey starts all over again?
Have you ever waited for that help to come, for that miracle call that would spell an end? And it does come but the fellow on the other side needs your help instead?

Have you ever fallen in love, have ever given it your all, not wanting much in return but just a little acknowledgement of your feeling; a little attention, but he/she was totally oblivious because they are in love with another? Has your heart ever broken and it meant nothing to the other?
Have you ever woken up in the morn not knowing where to go, not knowing where your next meal would come from? Have you ever starved so much that you wished you could pick some money on the street?

Have you ever been stranded? Have you ever found yourself in a strange land, strange faces, with no money and no other means to continue but to beg? Have you ever lost your pride, feel your every sense of worth evaporate and all that was left was just flesh and bone and a feeling of loss?

Have you ever lost someone? Someone who departs with all the meaning that life has for you, and you found yourself shattered in several pieces and wouldn’t know where to begin even if you were to? Have you ever felt like trouble was your unspoken name, like a dark cloud followed you, and there would not be an end? Have you ever surrendered to death?

Have you ever paid a huge price for something you knew nothing about? Face accusing eyes and hoped someone would come in and say word in your favor, and no one cared to see your point of view? Have you ever suffered for the truth, and your sacrifice is thrown back at your face? Have you hated the truth because it didn’t vindicate you after all?

Have you ever been betrayed by a loved one? Have you ever lost it because everyone who should be beside you found somewhere else to be? Have you ever heard the vile things a trusted friend had said behind your back? Have you ever smiled when you should in fact be wailing?
Have you ever felt inadequate? A little different? Maybe not just beautiful/handsome enough? Have you tasted rejection? Wished you were someone else?

Have you ever failed? Failed, failed and failed again? And everyone says you could make it, but you could also hear them call you a loser deep inside?

Have you ever wished you weren’t born? Have you ever wished you could change your parents? Have ever felt you could have been somewhere else, have a different life?
Have you ever hoped? Have you ever prayed? Have you ever lost hope, have you ever lost faith? Questioned the existence of God? Have you ever judged?
You may have been, or still be in a couple or so of those situations, have a few of those feelings too, but, did life end with them?

Imagine a city bus, it leaves the park empty in the morning but throughout the day it picks and drops all manners of people, imagine the driver were its mind and the conductor, the conscience. Imagine the people it accommodates at a point in time were its character and experience; they always decide how this bus must traverse the city anyway, but then it goes home to the park like it started, empty, in the evening.

We are not a lot different. No one is born with a sense of judgment; the things we learn are the things we know, and they will always inform our decisions as we journey through life. We may hurt but hurting is never a purpose, and hurt never ends in hurt. We must always search for a purpose for every life experience, good, bad, confusing, for only then can we find true appreciation of life.
Everything works together for our good (purpose).



2009© J.Ifeme