Contentment: Why do we desire the things that aren't ours

The things that appeal to us the most are those we never had. That lover that didn’t stay. That child we couldn’t raise. The union we had and lost; and when we do grow old, we tend to miss most of all the things we never did, while the ones we did once do and cherished are sometimes carelessly relegated to the background.

We do desire - sometimes to a point obsession -  those things we never had mostly because they didn’t get the chance to disappoint us just as the ones we have had our hands wrapped around did. Just because we never got to familiarize with them, we tend to live on considering them perfect and most worthy.

That love you never had could have made you perfect; the promising chap who died young could have changed the world; if you ever did harken to your desire to leave where you are now you could have become rich and famous or happier: yes, you 'could' have. But you could also have died or been imprisoned, or even could been far less contented.

You haven't thought about that, have you?

We sometimes hold so long onto grudges or satisfactions from our past that they have become the only reason we will never appreciate the things we now have. We place them so high that they become barriers in our psyche; they become the yardstick for other things that we may let in or exit from our life. 

In life, some believe one should do it all: the believe is that if they didn't one might end up regretting their choices someday. the result is that people go on and mess up everything around them, not even sparing themselves. But the truth is that we aren’t meant to keep all that we can catch. The fact that you met that lovely person does not mean they are meant for you, savor or keep. maybe all that is required of you is guidance.

For instance, you were not meant to sleep with so many of the people have made love to. Opportunity can be overrated. And just because you have the will and means to go to a place doesn’t mean you must live there. Our emptiness come largely from wanting so much of what isn’t ours.

You will see that when you begin to explore joy in the things you have rather waiting for that which you have lost or desire, but will never have, you might begin to evoke happiness in your life, and gradually satisfaction will be common place.