How Giving Can Sometimes Hurt

Except you have a standing death wish you should not expect a thing from anyone you have helped. And yes, the universe gives back whatever you have given in equals and triples and infinities but we must learn to give rightly.

Once I came across a saying that, ‘if you did a good turn and you were repaid with evil then there’s a bid of wickedness attached to your good.’

That may not be as ominous as it depicts. My take on the saying is that you must leave your ego out of your giving. Your left hand should not see what the right is doing when giving. When one gives in expectation of returns then one might as well have bought some stocks because that would no longer be charity.

Many of us deem it most charitable to give to the most prospective and the upcoming, or to those whose future we can already foretell, so that when they get to their paradise we will be remembered (talk about the bid of wickedness, perhaps). But more often than not many have been failed by this scheming; leaving them disappointedly embittered, rueful and even suicidal.

Most people you have helped will either forget – which is human – or even decide not to look back because they saw through your motive. Some may return, give their measure of quid pro quo which usually may be beneath your expectation. Others would simply have moved on to different dimensions in life that do not offer certain luxuries.

And you haven’t even thought that you simply may have been placed on their path with the most concise precision by fate. And yes, there is fate.

Did you know that the talent, health or wealth in your possession right now may not be entirely for your very satisfaction? Our greed most times won’t let us see.

The truth is that reward –if I may say – for our kindly deeds may be granted in form of our very good health, the successes of our children, or even our very salvation.

When we give and make other people see. We receive adulation. Our ego is feed, and that’s all about that. So don’t ask why you don’t get remembered by those you have helped because you have been appropriately paid in praises. The universe owes no debts.

The best way is to give and never remember. Don’t keep the faces if you could. Have no expectation of reward whatsoever.

Imagine you have been secretly paying a poor child’s fees and taking care of his needs for years and yet he sees you on the street and doesn’t even say hi. Imagine he even insults you without the slightest knowing that you are his benefactor.

Giving doesn’t have to be so conspicuous an act.

Photo credit: Thereseborchard

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